I want you to know, I've done our charts and they say that we work as one like jackson 5 or the temptations...
I think that someday I could write a decent column about heartbreaks and relationships. It would be an odd little column, but it's interesting that heartbreak comes from everyone in our lives. I used to think that heartbreak could come only when a lover has been scorned, but that was naive of me. Children can break their parents' hearts. And most certainly vice versa. But, so can friends. I've definitely broken some of my friends hearts. And some have broken mine. I've broken lovers hearts'. And some have broken mine.
When I was a child I was bright and energetic, but when I became a teenager I became a quiet kid. I think questioning one's sexuality will do that to you. I was introverted for a long time. One time I had teacher explain to me that I was introverted and for someone reason I just started to cry, not in front of her, but behind closed doors. And I made it a point to not stay that way. No one wants a sad mopey friend, but it was hard when surrounded by peers whom I could not stand. I saw that they were so shallow and vain. It was definitely an age where I felt guilty for what I had in life because others didn't have the same. I wasn't a communist, but definitely a socialist. When I got to high school a magic opportunity was presented to me. I could become whomever I wanted to be and no one would know the old me.
And that's when I met one of my first high school friends. Alston. I rememer giving her clues how to cheat. We became friends rather quickly and it was nice to have a friend. In that same class I also met Shea. These people really helped me to give myself the boost I needed to become who I wanted.
High school was very good to me. I fell in love in high school. That really good kind of love that was so sure and pure that everyone we knew was jealous of us. My senior year was the best year I have ever had of high school. After that year I became more and more deceptive and shady. And I realized I had to put a stop to it, because I wasn't being the person I wanted it to be. When I told my friends at SLC of this they didn't believe me. Oddly enough though a few weeks ago one of them told me that they had noticed that I had changed as a person. I thought they were being sarcastic, but they swore to me that they were being honest. And it made me cry. It's nice to hear that someone has noticed that I've been trying. I'm sure others have, but it's nice to hear encouragement. I feel that like most things in life, people only notice when you mess up. This isn't an entry that's meant to be "oh flatter and compliment me" but it's nice to know that people notice things. I have been trying to be a better person. A person with integrity. Honesty. Ethics. Virtues. Sincerity. It's easy to back slide. It's easy to fuck up.
I've been trying, but trying doesn't mean much. It's about the results.
People care a lot about results. Quickly looking for a solution. But, sometimes good results only come after a long time. It's a frustrating thing.
But, if the goal is desirable than the wait is worth it.
When I was a child I was bright and energetic, but when I became a teenager I became a quiet kid. I think questioning one's sexuality will do that to you. I was introverted for a long time. One time I had teacher explain to me that I was introverted and for someone reason I just started to cry, not in front of her, but behind closed doors. And I made it a point to not stay that way. No one wants a sad mopey friend, but it was hard when surrounded by peers whom I could not stand. I saw that they were so shallow and vain. It was definitely an age where I felt guilty for what I had in life because others didn't have the same. I wasn't a communist, but definitely a socialist. When I got to high school a magic opportunity was presented to me. I could become whomever I wanted to be and no one would know the old me.
And that's when I met one of my first high school friends. Alston. I rememer giving her clues how to cheat. We became friends rather quickly and it was nice to have a friend. In that same class I also met Shea. These people really helped me to give myself the boost I needed to become who I wanted.
High school was very good to me. I fell in love in high school. That really good kind of love that was so sure and pure that everyone we knew was jealous of us. My senior year was the best year I have ever had of high school. After that year I became more and more deceptive and shady. And I realized I had to put a stop to it, because I wasn't being the person I wanted it to be. When I told my friends at SLC of this they didn't believe me. Oddly enough though a few weeks ago one of them told me that they had noticed that I had changed as a person. I thought they were being sarcastic, but they swore to me that they were being honest. And it made me cry. It's nice to hear that someone has noticed that I've been trying. I'm sure others have, but it's nice to hear encouragement. I feel that like most things in life, people only notice when you mess up. This isn't an entry that's meant to be "oh flatter and compliment me" but it's nice to know that people notice things. I have been trying to be a better person. A person with integrity. Honesty. Ethics. Virtues. Sincerity. It's easy to back slide. It's easy to fuck up.
I've been trying, but trying doesn't mean much. It's about the results.
People care a lot about results. Quickly looking for a solution. But, sometimes good results only come after a long time. It's a frustrating thing.
But, if the goal is desirable than the wait is worth it.
2 Comments:
The other part of it is that it's easy to be independent but harder to stay in a relationship and do all the virtues that you list.
No matter how good the person your with, THE VIRTUES GET PUT TO THE TEST. For instance, I used to take a stupid approach and feel that whenever I was right, I would fight to the bitter end with my ex over arguments. But it is "stupid" because you're supposed to be smart enough to pick your arguments. The petty ones you use humor on and let slide.
I've learned that humor isn't just the pleasant feeling of laughter. IT'S THE GREASE THAT EASES THOSE BAD MOMENTS in a relationship and you can finesse things and not get caught up in the 200th argument w/ someone you love. Humor doesn't always work and humor doesn't work for a serious issue like when she thinks you'll be home at 6 but your working til 9.
Here's another thing to think about. I have a good friend @ work. He's 40 & never been in a serious relationship. Why?
Because he loves his independence more than he loves being with a woman for a long time. When he realizes she has flaws, he stops tolerating those flaws and the relationship ends. He needs to figure out what flaws he should put up with and which ones he can tolerate.
So, Ripsy, it's easy to figure out what are the good traits you are looking for in your significant other. But if you want to have a long lasting relationship, then what you should do is ask yourself: "what negative traits am I willing to put up with?" Then you can find a better person to match up with.
I didn't want to post a comment with another dorky compliment, so I hope this helps you.
JEW
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