Visitation Rights

I still want to go visit her. I honestly do. I am talking to Julien about going to New York. And it sucks. I still love her. Everyone says I'm doing the right thing and that this will be good for me. But, I still want to go visit her. Three months is an incredibly long time. I cry at the dumbest things now. I have a plane ticket that I have to spend by December 22. So, if anyone has any ideas please send them to me. I don't know if SLC is where I want to go. I might just want to go to Chicago and let myself collapse in Marge's arms. I hate that the one person whose arms I want to collapse in to, I can't. I can't because I have to force myself to not be hurt anymore. I have so many emotions. But, in the end this should be good. Breath. Breath.