Sucker - John Mayer

Sometimes I wish that I was the weather
You’d bring me up in conversation forever
And when it rains
I’d be the talk of the day

Sometimes I wish that I was a cold beer
I’d rest assure that you would hold me near
I’d be guaranteed to be just what you’d need

And there could be no other way
‘Cause your so, your're so lame
Your tired words are all, there all the same
If I would walk, I’d surely walk away
If I wasn’t such a sucker for you

Sometimes I wish that I was a bong hit
You’d let me in and love every minute
And tell the room the things I did to you

And there could be no other way
‘Cause your so vain
Your tired words are all
Your tired words are all the same
If I would walk, you know I’d surely walk away
If I wasn’t such a sucker for you

I see your world with rosy colored glasses on
Wanna right when I see wrong
I could never have that power over you

Someday I’m gonna pack up and leave this town
I’m gonna get my own things going on
And when I do
I’ll forget, I’ll forget
I’ll forget about how
You’re so, You’re so vain
Your tired words are all
Your tired words are all the same
If I would walk, you know I’d walk away
If I wasn’t such a sucker for you
Wasn’t such a sucker for you
Wasn’t such a sucker for you

To the boy who hurt my sister's feeling for no good reason...

Alex- We've been friends for your stay in NFTY. I thought I could trust you to be a good guy. However, you've managed to destroy my trust in you. It really really takes a lot for me to not trust someone. And you've done that. You have led on my sister for no other reason than to lead her on, and for that I am quite pissed. You and I are going to be having some words. You are so incredibly that you live in Colorado. But, rest assured that this will not ever happen again.
-Sara

And the old shall dream dreams and the youth shall see visions..

I have been having insane dreams. Like they are so real and so vivid. Usually they are about either Mariah or Tess, but regardless, I wake up very confused not knowing what I dreamed and what was real. I would be worried, but they are just dreams... although I'll probably ask Sara Cowan later what she thinks. I was thinking about graduation presents for the girls, and I think I have figured them all out. I don't know how practical Mariah's is, but I know that she expressed interest in what I'm doing. It won't be complete, but at least it'll be a starting point. Who knows. I really like Gavin DeGraw's music on a side note to you, but not to me. He has a really pretty voice. I think I'll burn H his CD, I think she'd enjoy it. I have a lot of CDs to burn her.

But, I enjoy posting song lyrics because I like to look back and see what I enjoyed six months ago.

More Than Anyone- Gavin DeGraw
You need a friend
I'll be around
Don't let this end
Before I see you again
What can I say to convince you
To change your mind of me?
I'm going to love you more than anyone
I'm going to hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free
I'll be free for you anytime
I'm going to love you more than anyone
Look in my eyes, what do you see?
Not just the color
Look inside of me
Tell me all you need and I will try
I will try
I'm going to love you more than anyone
I'm going to hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free
I'll be free for you anytime
I'm going to love you more than anyone
Free for you, whenever you need
We'll be free together baby
Free together baby
I'm going to love you more than anyone
I'm going to hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free
I'll be free for you anytime
I'm going to love you more than anyone
I'm going to love you more than anyone

Thoughts

He's not good enough for her. He might be her fling. I just want the best for her. I want her to be with me. He's not good enough. But, it's not my place to say is it? If he hurts her I'll beat his face into a pulp. I don't mean breaking up with her or anything like that, but if he ever truly hurts her... I don't know what'd I do. I hate being this double sided. One part of me wants her to go out and do what she wants with whomever, and this other part still wants to be a part of her life. I'm jealous of him. I really am. I wasn't even jealous of Jeff all that much. She didn't like him all that much and he didn't like her all that much. But, Jake likes her and she likes him. It's so frustrating. Fuck me. I don't want to post anymore. Night.

yes!

We're gonna make... make it right...

Wow, so I haven't updated in a few days. On Friday morning my mom called me and woke me up. She asked me if I wanted to go home for my birthday. Of course my answer was yes and she informed me that I needed to be at the airport at 7:00 am on Saturday morning. I spent the whole morning with my stomach in a knot... Jen, Sabrina, Sarah, Marissa, and Casey threw me a little soirée and that was quite the blast. Sabrina and Marissa had the funniest conversations while they were high. I finally went to bed at 2:40 in the morning only to wake up at 5:00 am to get ready to go home. I hopped into the car that was supposed to take me to the airport. I was hoping that I would work on my papers on the plane ride, but instead I passed out on both flights. Upon arriving home I hung out with Nate and Ashley. It was quite enjoyable we (Nate and I) went with Ashley to get her haircut. After leaving Miss Brown to go get ready for prom, Nate and I went home and watched Empire Records and then had dinner with my family. Following dinner we went and hung out at Nate's for a while. AGB and Bobby called us and asked us if we wanted to hang out, so we said sure and headed to the Dundee Theatre to say what's up. Ashley looked really pretty in her dress. Oh, I almost forgot, while we were hanging out Amanda Rozmairek called my cell and asked for Nate's number, when I asked her why she refused to say, and I gave Nate the phone. She was like, "This is Amanda Rozmairek and I'm with Mariah. Do you think that you could hook us up?" Nate said no and then they hung up. Which of course then led to my mental break down. What a way to use me and a way to use Nate. So, then we met up with Ashley and Bobby. I broke down a bit and Ashley gave me a pep talk. We sat outside the theatre for a bit and we all just kinda chilled and talked. It was really nice. Ashley and Bobby were tired so they went home. Nate, Jeff, Mike, and I went to Anne Kline's hotel room. It was really dumb and I think we were there for all of 15 minutes. Nate and Hank's Wife got in a fight while we were out searching for food. I decided that I didn't want to be out anymore and we went back to Nate's. We all hung out until about three am when I decided to go home. On Sunday, my birthday, I awoke and went out for breakfast with Ashley, Nate, Bobby, Mike, and Jeff. It was sooo good and so much fun. Ashley went home to do her homework and I hungout with the boys for a while. We went to the park and laid out in the sun. Ashley and I then proceeded to go to Von Maur and shizzop. Then we drove around and just listened to good summer music. I am really looking forward to a summer with her. We bought Rainbow ghetto juice and just enjoyed ourselves. I surprised Anne and picked her up at the airport from conclave... er chavurah. I had la casa with the Terrys and my family. I then went to Hannah's and watched Desperate Housewives with her and Mariah. It was very awkward to say the least. Mariah was on good behavior for most of the night, but by the end of the evening she was being really catty. Hannah and I had a talk for like an hour. It was really nice to be able to just sit and vent with her. We talked about all sorts of things. She really is this amazing friend. We see eye to eye and it was nice to just sit and vent and laugh. It's nice to know that she has my back, but it's even nicer to know that she'll let me watch hers. I think our friendship has the potential to be really amazing. I am glad we're friends, it's not that I didn't know it before, but to just sit and talk with her was awesome. She honestly made me feel a whole lot better about the Mariah situation. Yeah. What a weekend.