B.Y.O.H. (Bring Your Own Hennessey)

Ripsy: you're up late
JB: im xcunkdf gthan fuck
Ripsy: hmm?
Ripsy: english
JB: hennyeysy you know howiu t si
Ripsy: haha. a little drunk?
JB: hahaaiu very much
Ripsy: drink alone?
JB: withoi a jfiew people ate different downem alkie exacnt
Ripsy: type slower.
Ripsy: try and make words.
JB: haha, lil to tipoe is to be a vigrohne int heiuu eyie's of a salieor of thei y aliek
Ripsy: yeah, i understood none of that.
JB: ioiuye wilhl sya thihuso thought, por que, nigger. i say this as i satnad before you. hennesy is the huyshuyt
Ripsy: oh yeah?
JB: elixaytn
Ripsy: i would suggest you go to bed, but i'm laughing too much.
JB: adn the bestlpouat or fnit anlne, is liek thiksie or ofihtu iane aind; linanit lineage
JB: my fafmily tree sara
JB: its all iutoubt the hertigutgeoie
JB: andyt theywoi funyeyist thing of all, is the fuchunking french
JB: the fenyrchn
JB: abisoutliuyr sidk, cidck olesh
Ripsy: yeah...
JB: ue wlike having yeuouse tpoiuyth thought
Ripsy: I don't even know how to respond to that.
JB: stiits i llieikean havinhung sexoiew uo
JB: eilill coal you

Banksy

There are no words.

An extract from the diary of Lieutenant Colonel Mervin Willett Gonin DSO who was among the first British soldiers to liberate Bergen-Belsen in 1945.

Camp

I can give no adequate description of the Horror Camp in which my men and myself were to spend the next month of our lives. It was just a barren wilderness, as bare as a chicken run. Corpses lay everywhere, some in huge piles, sometimes they lay singly or in pairs where they had fallen. It took a little time to get used to seeing men women and childen collapse as you walked by them and to restrain oneself from going to their assistance. One had to get used early to the idea that the individual just did not count. One knew that five hundred a day were dying and that five hundred a day were going on dying for weeks before anything we could do would have the slightest effect. It was, however, not easy to watch a child choking to death from diptheria when you knew a tracheotomy and nursing would save it, one saw women drowning in their own vomit because they were too weak to turn over, and men eating worms as they clutched a half loaf of bread purely because they had to eat worms to live and now could scarcely tell the difference. Piles of corpses, naked and obscene, with a woman too weak to stand proping herself against them as she cooked the food we had given her over an open fire; men and women crouching down just anywhere in the open relieving themselves of the dysentary which was scouring their bowels, a woman standing stark naked washing herself with some issue soap in water from a tank in which the remains of a child floated. It was shortly after the British Red Cross arrived, though it may have no connection, that a very large quantity of lipstick arrived. This was not at all what we men wanted, we were screaming for hundreds and thousands of other things and I don't know who asked for lipstick. I wish so much that I could discover who did it, it was the action of genius, sheer unadulterated brilliance. I believe nothing did more for these internees than the lipstick. Women lay in bed with no sheets and no nightie but with scarlet red lips, you saw them wandering about with nothing but a blanket over their shoulders, but with scarlet red lips. I saw a woman dead on the post mortem table and clutched in her hand was a piece of lipstick. At last someone had done something to make them individuals again, they were someone, no longer merely the number tatooed on the arm. At last they could take an interest in their appearance. That lipstick started to give them back their humanity

great slogans

Ok, readers. Go ahead and pick your favorite. And then check out sloganizer

«There's only one true Ripsy!»
«You're in good hands with Ripsy.»
«Ripsy makes your day.»
«Ripsy, whiter than the whitest!»
«Ripsy brings out the best.»
«The gods made Ripsy.»
«Get me my Ripsy.»
«Ripsy, to hell with the rest.»
«Ripsy, since 1845.»
«There's lots of fun in Ripsy.»
«The queen buys Ripsy.»
«You don't want Ripsy as your enemy!»
«You can't beat Ripsy.»
«Ripsy, the freshmaker.»
«With a name like Ripsy, it has to be good.»
«Ripsy - Think different.»
«Ripsy will be for you what you want it to be.»
«Ripsy - once you have it, you love it.»
«Be young, have fun, taste Ripsy.»
And on the eighth day, god created Ripsy.»
«No Ripsy, no kiss.»
«Pure Ripsy. Pure Power.»
«Go to heaven with Ripsy.»
«Ripsy, love it or leave it.»

^.^

Blast from the Past

Check out today's Rob and Elliot.
I miss Alf, what a delightfully dumb show.

Rob and Elliot

Me so horny... meeee love you looooong time.

Nail me across these rocks,
Paint me part of the canvas of life,
Pretend you with me instead of your wife,
Come to me tonight in your sleep,
I will make strong your love pole.

This poem changed my life. L12 was right, this site is amazing.

Sister FuRong JieJie

Drunkeness rocks!

My parents used to have parties between New Year's and X-mas. Wait, reverse that. So, one year they had a party in their hip downtown loft. There was a guy at a party who we'll call Jim Bean. Jim was sitting in the open window sill. Jim was known to either have a real or joking phobia of Native Americans, and Jim was talking to a man who mentioned he was of Native American descent. Jim let his arms fly up and he was propelled out the window. He then rolled down to the awning below, over the petunia boxes, and onto the street below. A good deal of the people at the party thought he was dead, and started running down to the street screaming "JIM!" He then popped up and yelled "Another mark for liberty" and ran down the street. At the end of the evening it was decided that it probably was not the best idea for Jim to drive home. So my cousins Steve and Linda decided to take him home. Linda would drive her husband's car, and Steve would drive Jim's car. Jim's car was low on gas, so Steve takes it to the gas station to fill it up with gasoline. Jim took this opportunity to lock the doors in the car and fuck with Steve. Finally, he lets Steve back in the car. Steve asks Jim how to get to his house. Jim gives him a complex set of directions and off they go. When they arrive at the street Steve asks where the house is, and Jim replies "Haha! I tricked you! This isn't my street at all!" Steve who was slightly drunk and tempermental at four in the morning grabs him by the scruff of the neck and says "I am going to beat you senseless if you do not tell me where your house is."

2 Great Conversations

Dario: One of them is the lack of food there, but that's because The Parasite has taken over my kitchen.
Ripsy: you could kill him and eat him
Dario: ...
Dario: That's a brilliant solution to all my troubles
Ripsy: anytime
Dario: You're like a scientist
Ripsy: methodical and sexy?
Dario: Yes!
Dario: Nicole Kidman is going to be playing a scientist in her new film Invasion
Dario: I love how female scientists are all models
Dario: Like Tara Reid in Alone in the Dark
Dario: She wore glasses, so you knew she was smart
Ripsy: denise richards in james bond
Dario: OH CHRIST
Dario: God that was a bad film
Dario: I like Bond films, but the Brosnan ones just got dumber and dumber
Dario: And that one was HORRIBLE
Ripsy: moonraker = teh shit
Dario: I didn't even bother seeing the last one, with Halle Berry
Dario: Yeah, Moonraker's good.
Dario: I like most of the Moore ones.
Ripsy: jaws is my favorite villian
Dario: Although Goldfinger and Thunderball are still the two best ones.
Dario: Jaws is everyone's favorite villain. :-D
Dario: In Moonraker, doesn't he get some tang?
Ripsy: yep
Dario: The chick in the braces
Dario: That was priceless.
Dario: Did you ever see Live & Let Die?
Ripsy: of course.
Dario: I love how you couldn't possibly make that film now
Dario: With all the hillbilly shenanigans and evil negros

Alex: i'll post an aked picture of you for my desktop
Ripsy: lol
Alex: with folders tastefully covering your nipples
Alex: TASTEFULLY
Alex: also your box

Niiiice

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Or as I like to call them opportunitystakes.

I went to the Borders on 57th and Park in Manhattan today with my mother. I being the magazine fiend that I am made a beeline to the magazine section. In order to get to said section I had to take the escalator. There was a girl carrying a dog and her bizarre mother. The mother turns around and looks at me. She smiles and then says, "My dog has the same shirt that you do."
I smile uneasily and respond "oh?"
"Yes, and I say this because I saw your shirt and loved the color, then I realized that you two had the same shirt. You remind me of my dog."
Then I just looked ahead and let my soul die.